Im.....

Its had been 2 days without message each other
Its that every each time need the guy approach first or?
Even i didnt find her
I think she should be ok with it
Or i freaked her out
I think i should pull out and gave up?
Maybe is a good choice for you and me?
If a person really have the mean on you
He or she will automatically find him or her
But i felt....
Haha
But whatever la
一个掌永远拍不响
Just wait the fate come
Too desperate will have nothing in the end.......

1 Old Man is HERE

I noticed 

My brain

My thinking

Really blank

Cant think any damn thing

Even now im forgetful

Like freaking old man

Even worst than my grandpa when he still around

What happened to me!?

Anythings that can boost up my memory and not forgetful as well

And damn tired from past few weeks

Maybe i dont have enough of rest and cant sleep well

Should i took some sleeping pills to help me sleep more comfort? lol

Really need a vacation

Need a holiday

Need a trip

That really chill me down

And relax

Hmmmm

Lone Ranger trip for me?

Haha......

Looks easy but bored when alone 

Aihzz....

Need a quite place and relaxing place

Can see some green mountain or seaside waves sound

Think about it damn nice......

But problem is....

FINANCE PROBLEM hahahahaha

I think i should plan a budget trip should be ok

Cause im easy going 

As long my trip dont serve me any food that contain VEGES!!!

But depends on what type of VEGES la some i can consume 

Hahaha

Im easily....

Im person that easily pull off or gave up
Cause in my mind that
Things that not belong to you
How hard you tried
How hard you had been trough
Sometimes its not yours means not yours
I rather gave up and find things that belonging me
Rather than wasting my time on it

But some people said
If you want it
You need to fight for it

But do we really need to be in this way in our life?
I rather give up
Maybe im too weak?
Or im have no patience?
Maybe both?
I think is both
Hahaha

What should i do?
Just be myself and time will prove everything?

Everything is end

Am i should be happy?
Yay or Nay?

Someone had warn me and told me before
But i try to believe her and cheating myself
To cover my face and her
Not really gonna said much about it

Hope your future BF treat you well and better than me
Continue to be friend?
Im sorry i cant make it
Cause you are going to be in relation and im keep chatting with you or what
I felt annoy and disturbing
And i can feel that too
Cause im a guy and i dont really like another guy to annoy my girl
Maybe im selfish?

But anyway good luck and all the best la

I think sooner you will intro thi guy to your parents
Cause you gonna graduate and you can do anything as you wish

But i felt unfair for me
Together with you
Even your parents doesnt not my existing
Cause your parents cant accept it and you dont dare to say anything
Together with you im quite happy
But our relation is keep secret and hide from your parents side

Yup
If you saw this
You will even more disappointed and even hate me more
But anyway dont happened anything on you that what i hope

NO TITLE

Everytime i post photo in INSTAGRAM 

For sure i will share in FACEBOOK as well

I would like to share in this two places cause if someday 1 of the social media having some issues and all of the things gone

At least i still have another social media to view back my past and history

I dont like to play like those SNAPCHAT or FACEBOOK STORY or INSTASTORY cause it just last for 24hours

And i dont hope anything just last that long i wanted even more longer than that

I love to have memories doesnt care good or bad

As long i can view back those day what i had done

我发觉到

我们天秤

烂好人

双脸人

因为怕知道

因为不想伤害人

因为想太多

一直的隐藏

我觉得

我自己还可怕过别人

Things happened to sudden!?

I dont know what to say

Or should i say or not

She wechat me and said that she miss me......

And she recall the message

Actually do she really want to get it back this relation or she need someone by her side?

But even she said that she miss me

I try to chill and calm down

Cause i easily want back the relation

Cause i dont want to be the 1st person to say it out

Before we break up i tried to solve the problem

And i begged you not to break up this and that

But..... you said no means no

And now suddenly you appear and said that you miss me

If you really want it back this relation

I could accept it back but i would not voice it out 1st

If you want it then you fight for it

And to be honest i knew some of the things hapened after we break up

But i tried to cheat and bluff myself cause of you

You might be dont know it or you cant feel it

Just that im lying myself not to know or try to cover your backside

Cause it makes me feel better but in reality and in my heart not really

Do you think i will question you some thing?

Sometimes i dont really want to know it cause im afraid to know it and i dont expect to get the answer that disappointing me

IF YOU WANT IT BACK 

YOU FIGHT IT 

CAUSE BEFORE THIS I HAD DONE MY PART

THIS IS YOUR PART AND YOUR SHOW 

But i knew you are person that made a decision and will not turn back

But this time you might be back to me

I also had no idea 

Always keep thinking that you will be back in someday 

But actually im just give myself a fake hope? or i cant accept the reality?

Things that........

Sometimes
Things that you never say it out
Or tell it out that actual things that happened
And you keep it in your heart
Its does not feel good
Cause people will misunderstand
And you are tiring to hide from people and suffer your own
Do you guys agree with it?

Sometimes
We said it out
Be honest with it
Do they can accept it?
Maybe yes? Then im glad that everything its ok
If they cant accept it? Then we are in trouble? Or in deepsh*t?

Sometimes
Its difficult for us
But some portion of them
They dont really care much of others feeling
They feel good
I wish that i could be that too
Cause i doesnt need to care others feelin
Just do whatever i want
Do you guys feel great?
But in someways people will felt that you are a selfish person

I never show my true color on somebody that i doesnt felt comfort
Cause i showed my true color and they cant accept it, its my fault too
And i showed my true face and personality and its just finish like that

累了
我能告诉谁？
我能表达给谁？
我还是要继续走下去
你想要个安慰
难道我不想吗？
只是这个是人生必定会发生的事
痛了
我能告诉谁？
我能表达给谁？
我还是要隐藏，我没事，别担心
我还是藏在心里痛在心里
我是人，不是木，不是铁，我有感情的
伤了
我能告诉谁？
我能表达给谁？
我还是假惺惺当作没一回事，要隐藏不开心的一面
我还是要做出我过得很好，我很开心
哭了
我能告诉谁？
我能表达给谁？
我还是要躲起来哭，不想给人看我的脆弱的一面

其实只是表面而已，心里却不是这样
有时候人看到的和看不到的东西
差别很多
如果有的选择的话
我宁愿我不存在在这个世界里

Im glad that i have someone to talk and share

Guess where am i 

I am back to online

Just woke up from sleep

What a tiring day for this past few days

Its begin from the last Thursday

Last Thursday i had to setup for the weekend fair in Midvalley

But luckily this time i doesnt have any main booth 

So it will be easier than before
But anyhow i still tired like hell

After the setup everything and its almost 7pm? I think so...

Cause i reach home around 8pm++

I think so... Old man doesnt have a good memory.......

Even i watched movie in cinema and i can forget it just a day....... Hahaha

Back to the story

After reach home i took bath and rest 

For next round...

Gone to my secondary schoolmate's house for GAMBLE 

From the beginning i lose a lot

Gently remind you guys i just play for 1 buck for a game

Not gamble my whole assets 

9 out of 10 games.... i kept paying the banker

Damn suey

So i had no choice i invest on my friend side

And the result is up and down like roller coaster but i still losing 

The banker luck is damn good 

He won almost 200-3xx bucks

And that time 5 of us playing

So got 2 players they played 2 players
Its means

1 person playing 2 sides of cards

And i playing 4 players of cards

So the banker started to lose money after we played so many

From 300-4xx bucks to 65 bucks

And from there i stopped playing and chip in to him

Per person fork out 65 bucks as our assets 

And before i invest on him i lose almost 70-80 bucks

And we played i think around 10 rounds?

Me and him wont almost 200 bucks

And i didnt lose on that day and got back my money 

Hahaha

And we gambled till 5am in the morning

And i have duty on the day.... At 10PM

I just slept for few hours.... Damn tiring on the fair day

So on the first day of fair

Everything is not in plan and busy here and there walking here and there so settle those things for those dealers

And those dealers are not concern about us

Want this and that

Please be concern la we are not serving the only 1

We are serving few of them

And i am a bad temper person and i try to control myself cause im representing the company

If im not i will pissed them off

So i busy from 11am to 3-4pm? i think so la

Then i dont really care much 

Too tired and my brain is totally blank dont know what to do on next

Even that i had a new guy following me and i dont know how to guide him.....

And that day this CHAMPION not feeling well 

So 1 of my salesman let him left early....

Even im not feeling well in fair i still work....

F*cking toufu la you boy.....

After fair 

I still went out with 1 of my friend for dinner? supper?

And i drove up and down for searching our supper

From midvalley to Setapak

Then Setapak to PJ SS3? not really familiar that place

And we are damn lucky till that shop is closed for renovation

So no choice PJ SS3 to SS2.... And we had Uncle Don for our supper

And the place is hard to get parking and the crowd in the restaurant........

After the supper and the time is damn late

12am+++

Another late sleep again.....

But better than the previous day

On the 2nd day......

I base on 1 dealer booth 

Talking and crazy with the promoter.....

I think she going to be mad cause of me (crazy me)

Talk rubbish whole day in there.....

After the fair.... i offered to send her back

From Midvalley to Equine Park

Actually she dont want cause its quite far for me to get back home after sending her to there

But i insist and tell her that its ok la 

No problem la 

I also no idea why i send her back?

Hmmmm.... Pity her?... Dangerous to get back alone?... Or some others reason from me?.... I dont know.....

Before send her back we went for my dinner and chit-chatting 

After send her home i went another 2nd round

Same person house for gambling again lol

Im KAKI GAMBLE but luckily this time i won for few bucks

Better than nothing la and just have fun and gathering with them

And we gamble almost 5am in the morning agai -.-

And my mom called and ask me where am i..... same things happened on Thursday....

I might be felt annoyed by her

But if someday she is not around i'll feel regret.... so i didnt really mad on her

Cause i know if someday im became a dad i'll do the same things to my child

IF I HAVE THE LUCK BE A DAD OR PARENT

So the 3rd day or last day

Same situation 

Tired like an assh*le.....

But i dont really care la

How tired am i 

I still will try struggle till the end of the fair

Hmmm actually nothing much to say on the last day of fair

Cause everyone is having the last day mood

Doesnt really care much and waiting to finish work thats all

And today another CHAMPION thing that i have done while driving.....

Really really to tired and over exhausted 

I drove on highway and close my eyes for 20-30 Meter road distance for few times

And i know is dangerous and i might knock on others driver

Sorry be that selfish and stupidity 

Once i reach office and i think this is my 2-3rd times made a HOT MILO for my own

HOT MILO KAW KAW 4-5 scoops and half bottle of my tumbler (500ML? i think around there)

Feel so nice after drinking it.....

Im my mind i hope this will be my last fair

If i had a better opportunity i will leave

If i dont then i had no choice to stay in here.......