Libra is kinda weird person

Guys...

Do you have friends or your another behalf are Libra?

Im felt that Libra a kind a weird person

And they didnt even know what they want

Even myself also dont know how to talk about this topic

As i know we are PEOPLE that TAK TENTU ARAH

Its means when we talk about A things but in the heart not A

Example if we argue with somebody

After a few moments that we felt bad 

Why we need to do this to others bla bla bla bla

WEIRDO LIBRA

And this happened on me

When i have girlfriend that time

Sometimes she really make me upset

In my heart think 

Break then break la

But in the end i never do or done this kind of decision

We are kinda people that just say or think but we didnt do it (NATO = No Action Talk Only)

Maybe we are rely on him/her

And think back why we need to be this way?

Even sometimes i argue with my mom

After few minutes 

I think back

Why i need to talk with her in such a rude way

Why i treated her like that

We felt bad inside but we didnt show it out or tell it out

We just felt bad in the heart

And now i noticed 1 thing

We easy feel in love that person we like

Are desperate to replace EX?

Did we know he/she well before we get into relationship?

Are we looking for a person to comfort ourself?

To be honest..... I felt yes

Sometimes really felt bad to be this way and felt unfair for them

Are we a control freak?

Are we a overthinker?

Are we an annoying person?

Are we bla bla bla.......

We are person take cant make decision

Maybe above all of this

Not LIBRA fault

Maybe is my fault 

Maybe is my own character or attitude

If LIBRA not this kind of person or attitude

Im sorry ya......

At last my internet is back...

My house modem had been down for few days

At last im back to ONLINE!!!

Sometimes i too believe in those HOROSCOPE thingy....

And to be honest till now i also what i want what is my target........

Almost 25years old still unclear what i want in my life kinda fail

EPIC FAIL man......

Even if i found a girl that i like or love

I dont really dare to get near to her or fall in love with her

Afraid that im not mature enough and im still lost

I dont want to drag her into a deep shit relationship

Work?

Till now i still had no idea 

Should i stay?

Or should i leave?

Even sometimes if i left the company what kind of job i can search for or work for?

SPM level how far can i go?

High much salary i can get?

The more i think the more im fear and afraid about my upcoming life

Or i really need a person that really can settle down for me?

Am i too naive?

My life should be i handle it by myself and not other.....

Right? lol

Can someone tell me or guide me what to do?

Traveling down to Kuantan 6/2/2018

Hey guys.....
At last im able to online due to my home internet had been down for few days......

6th of Feb im traveling down to Kuantan for products seminar with my colleagues and my boss MD (is a japanese guy)
And the most champion thing the Japanese Boss same car with me
Im think am i lucky or unlucky!?
Cause alot of stories about this JEPUN GUY.....
Not going to mention about him in this blog
If not later i have no more work to do  (Kena Goreng) lol

Japanese Boss sitting infront of me....

And most of the time my salesman talk and entertain him

On the way to Kuantan we had stopped by Bentong for hunting DURIAN
Cause that japanese boss like craving and hinting that he wanted to have durian
Unfortunately he is damn unlucky guy la
Not even a durian stall in Bentong open
So we have to move on our journey and we saw roadside have sell some durian
And we stopped to have it
But i think the price might be costly if compare in town
Beside that i really have no idea the price of durian
I tau makan saja

And this is the stall beside the highway that we had our durian

After discount the price is RM50 for 1BIJI nia

But surprisingly he treat us durian.....
As i know he kinda bit Chea............. (someone told me la)
And i few biji of durian
Dont dare to eat too much.......
And the most most champion that happened in car is....
Both of them burp in the car....
F*ck the whole car smell like SH*T!!!!
What to do tahan my breathe lo
I wanted to burp also dont dare
Cause i know the smell and the feeling......
Anyway after we ate the durian me and my MD fall asleep and my salesman drive alone all the way.....

Once we reached Kuantan we had our lunch
And the food that i damn hate it -.-
VEGETARIAN!!!!!
After that once we reached the hotel
And get ready for setup this and that
And that time i feel damn hungry cause VEGETARIAN food doesnt have any meat
NO MEAT NO ENERGY sial!!!!
Started hungry from 4.30pm to 8pm.............
And most pekcek things is
The transporter is late
They left the office 1st but we reached earlier than them for 2hours
And my salesman bising here and there
Late setup and everything that we do damn kalam-kabut
Rush to room cincai bath and continue for the next round....
CNY dinner for east coast dealers

THE ZENITH HOTEL KUANTAN

So this is the hotel that i stayed

In the meantime also is product seminar place

MEXICA

Paiseh a i didnt took any photo of the foods...

Food is not bad and quite unique compare with KL

Got 1 funny thing happened in here....

My salesman drank to much and he went infront of the TV and keep tapping the volume button on the screen..........

I think he though is touchscreen

And i keep looking and laugh him

THE 8

2nd round after the dinner

I had no choice i need to follow my salesman to anywhere cause same room and with 1 pass card -.-

I didnt really drink alot la

Just a few small cups

And some funny things happened in here as well

My salesman walk toward me and told me that got a lady waiting me to approach her and drink with her

And that lady not really my cup of tea.......

My salesman really CHAMPION and LEGEND

Alot of funny things he had done

Countless from my side.....

So on the 2nd day......

So this is me and get ready for my breakfast and the seminar

Just ignore the FUGLY me.....

And this is my breakfast

The food is so so 

After the breakfast

Its time to do some touch up and tidy up in the seminar room

Get ready for dealer partners and registration 

And this is the things that we setup and prepared before a day

So this is the company that i worked for (EPSON)

This is the setup that had done by few of us

Ignore the red shirt lady....

She is 1 of the product manager....

And the seminar took about 3hours+++

After that all of them went for lunch 

And my salesman hilang again

Left 3 of us tidy up the whole event.........

But whatever at least im not alone to tidy up the whole thing

And another champion thing from my salesman again 

He asked me did i saw his credit card 

My heart thinking... is your credit card not mine you should know where you put after you swipe it

After the lunch 

Me and another sales manager fast fast ciao 

Balik KL.....

Nothing to hide from now onwards.....

Hey Guys....
I will write all of those bad habits from me
And be honest in here

So lets start from this.....
Im not a good guy
To be honest....
I had done alot alot of bad and naughty things in my young age....
I still remember when i was young
I steal my grandpa money (mostly is coins that keep it in a steel box and he place it in living room)
From that onward i know to steal and spent alot of unnecessary things
Even i stole from my mom hard earn money from selling sweets and snacks
And i stole quite a huge amount by little and little
Steal it and spent it on those stupid things and items that my sister wanted
Steal and buy her things and i treat my friends as well
Like a rich guy that not earned from myself
Even beside that i also steal my sister's money
Felt that im quite champion
Hahahahahaha
If im not mistaken i stopped stealing money from them when im...... <<< i will tell you in another part hahahaha
Even i still remember i stole money from temple........
I think i will get karma sooner or later
I dig it from the DONATION BOX
F*ck when i think back why i had done this
Damn f*cking funny and badass.............
This is the most most champion things..... I think you guys will never know how much amount of money that i steal when i in primary school to secondary school.... To be honest its 4 Digits amount......
So now we will continue with my secondary school life......
For the 1st year of secondary school
I seldom escape from the school
Because of afraid get caught this and that
I still remember the 1st 1st time i escape from school and went to cybercafe and on that day police officers came to there and catch those students that escape from school
Before the officer came i already left cause we heard somebody telling us that police is coming
So in that moments we just paid our bill to addon time for continue our game
But we had no choice because of afraid get catch so we left the cybercafe
After the next day i heard someone telling us they didnt even catch any students cause the cybercafe owner paid them some coffee money......
In 2nd year of secondary life
The champion had revive.........
The 1st day of schooling
I only attend for 1-3weeks classes
Because of i wanted to be same class with my friends but the teachers caught that im not that class students
So i had to go back to my origin class
Because of this issues everyday i escape from school for 2-3Months
And my parents curios with it
Every each day i reach home and i didnt do any home
So got 1 day they caught me again
And get back to school and study.... lol
3rd year in secondary school i felt that im quite good boy in this year because of PMR
Because its important and im quite good boy on that year and the most like is...... the girl that i like....she is same class with me...hahah.... hip hip horrray but the happy moments never last long....
Sometimes because of her
Everyday i ask my friend to cybercafe
Cause i want to on MSN and chat with her
Chat for few weeks at last i get her phone number
So so so sudden we felt in LOVE but.....
We messaging for each other for few weeks and i asked her some few question
Currently do you have boyfriend? Yes
So i decided not to get closer her because of i should disturb or break somebody relation
Cause to break up with somebody doesnt feel good and its hurt and im the 3rd person so i shouldnt bother them.....
From that onward i seldom talk to her i just wanted fast end the 3rd year of secondary school.....
I think she felt that i dont really wanted to talk with her or even get close to her
Im sorry.....
So begin my 4th year of secondary school
I manage to get in Science class but ........
Cause of my stupid mind and thinking
Cause of friends and i want to mix with them......
From science class i change it to art class..........
And i still remember that i escape school again -.-
Almost half year i didnt attend any class and get warning letter from school and at the end kicked out from school......
So i told my parents that i want to start to work
At the end not even 16years old start to work in a cafe that bsae in Seri Kembangan (Serdang)
At that time i stay in my uncle's house and i didnt pay any rent or anything at all
He bought me food send me here and there
Im quite lucky that i have this kind of relatives
I worked for 1-2 weeks and i called my mom that i want to go back to school
Really lifeless to work as this kind of work and environment
Now i think back....i were still working at there what will happpen to me now......
After that i work almost a month then i request to back to school
At last i success back to study
Oh ya i will continue the topic that i steal money
From the day i work in cafe onward
I felt that money really hard to earn
And from the day onward every each time i went out with parents i would not order those expensive food
I will look the price before i order
And after i official start to work i didnt steal any money anymore
Cause i know to earn from my own...
5th year in secondary school
Another big year for me.... SPM exam.... this time should be fighting for my FUTURE but..... i failed
Same issues had happened
After from school
Go cybercafe
Doing non-sense
But luckily i finished up my secondary school
With a stupid and fail gred......
Any how..... i had a bad gred but at least im willing to work.....
Oh ya in between my 5th year i meet a girl in facebook......
But not really want to say much about it la
If you guys really want to know it.....just comment below......

So schooling life is end......
And i damn f*cking lucky?
I need to go for NS (National Service) in Bau, Sarawak nearby Kuching
When i get the letter..... really speechless and really dont feel to go there....
Cause my girl is here.........
Keep thinking and looking how to avoid to there
But at last.... no idea and no choice.....
I am there.....
But luckily at there nothing much happen and mat few nice local people
Im quite lucky la
Struggling there for 2 and half months
At last im coming home........
On the day that coming home..... everyone is crying
The most poor is the coach/teacher every each batch came in to the camp
And every batch they cried hahaha
Poor them.....

After i came back i started to work and someone introduce me to work in Low Yat and get cheated by the bosses and staffs
Didnt pay my commission and deduct my salary and didnt pay me any EPF
So just make it like 1st lesson lo
What to do....
But the company closed down after few months cause of credits issues and didnt pay money to the distributor
After that i find a new job and work as a PRODUCT CONSULTANT for NOKIA but is under an agency company
But i felt that this is my actual 1st job and quite high pay for my official job
After i joined the company
Just started to work for 1-2weeks and i wanted to resign
But i dont know how i did not resign and i worked there for 2years++++ lol
Cause i have nice and good colleagues and nice bosses
They help me to fight and gain something for me
Thats why i stayed
And somehow unfortunately cause of some problem with the project
Cause my agency wanted to stop the project with them and start another project
In that time the new agency gave us an offer to continue the project with them
In the same time my agency offer us to a new project and might be having a chance to get promoted as a TEAM LEADER
And the nightmare had been start...........
Stupid project Stupid location Stupid strategy
This is what i feel la but for bosses i had no idea what they are thinking
So for the new project been drag and dragging for few months
Cause of the clients issues and doesnt have enough promoter to start the project bla bla bla......
When the project is ready and started.......
I work in there not even 3months......
My project manager came to me and ask me some shitty questions
After few days he called me
And ask me to fire myself
Write a resign letter this and that
So i also left the company and no work for 1month.......
And my ex-dealer told me that his company leak of manpower
So i join there.....
And by the way in the meantime i just started to work in NOKIA and i already breakup with my girl.....
So after i work in the new company i mat a promoter girl......
Knew for each other less than a month then we are together lol
Damn fast but in the meantime breakup also less than a month
I think few weeks......
Not going to mention too much of this things....want to know the comment below la
I work there for 7-9Months
And the lady boss wanted to close down the whole company due to losing profits this and that
And damn stupid way to manage the company of cause close down lo
Never listen to the on floor salesperson
So end up like this
So before they close down the company in the meantime i keep looking and searching for new job
And that time i just apply only
I doesnt care much.... as long big company will do....
I applied for few companies but most of the just viewed and ignore me
Cause i doesnt have high qualification
But im quite lucky that... 1 of a japan company hired me....
Im quite lucky.....
So in the meantime while i still working there i mat a girl through facebook again
We liked each other post this and that
Just knew each other for few days and we are together lol
Felt that im kind of desperate person to get a relation or a girl......

To be honest i dont really know how to continue it......
I worked in this japan company for 2years+++
And i together with her for almost 3years
And we just end up for past few weeks

I felt that i really made something mistake
1. Im a low educated person
2. Im a person that really want face
3. Im a selfish person
4. Im a person that treat friends or family good but not on my girl
5. When she need me....im not there
6. I didnt appreciate what she done for me
7. Im a overthinking person
8. I have alot of secret and keep it in my heart and i never share to someone
9. I had spent alot unnecessary things and gamble alot but i didnt owe anyone money
10. Im almost 25 years old this year and i dont have any saving
11. I am a thief when im young
12. Etc etc etc

I had too much bad things to say about myself
What a epic fail guy............

Im sorry for my broken and weird english
I AM BTC (BO TAK CHEK) 没读书
And i leak alot of things in here
Have too much things to type and say
Want to know more
Just comment.......
And i gently reminder that im not really a good guy....

DONT TREAT ME GOOD
CAUSE I DONT DESERVE IT

Im really afraid to talk or find you

已经两个星期了
我只是可以远远的偷看
我不敢再找你聊天
不敢信息你
我怕你觉得我很烦
想追回？还有可能吗？
我发现
我太依赖你
需要你在身边就算不在我身边
觉得你和我在一起，我已经很满意
想挽回？我觉得你都会不想要了吧
其实我真的不知道该怎么做
也许你有比我跟好的条件的男生

其实
这段感情
让我太在乎而失去吧？
如果你是我的
我死死都不让别人

Someone had told me
Try it before gave up
At least you try
At least you wont regret

But i tried for few times
Im afraid you gonna ignore me
Im afraid you felt that im annoying to you
Im afraid you had started a new relation and im still bothering you
Im afraid that im disturbing you
I really had no idea what should i do....
Im cluesless....

Its that ended?
No more hope?
Can you tell me?

Things that you bought

Things that you left in my room

I dont even dare to throw

Cause im afraid i will miss you

Even the photo in my wallet still there.... 

Losing weight?

For few days....
My weight is losing day by day
Wondering am i on diet?
Cause my mom said im fat so i should eat lesser?

Am i torturing myself? NO!
I just felt that im losing appetite when i think back something
Before this my weight was 74KG above
And few days back i measure its had been dropped to 70KG
And yesterday dropped to 68KG.......
But my tummy and belly still there lol
Eat less doesnt help me to disappear the belly actually need exercise la lol

Company CNY dinner for dealers
What great day for everyone but except me
I fall sick on that day
Suffering for whole day from morning till midnight
I didnt really eat much and i didnt even drink beer or wine
Really dont have appetite at all
Once i get back my sis saw my face is red
Cause ofmy body is too heatty
I had been headache and body-aching for whole day
And the bad thing is
Next day is public holiday but its just like my MC day
What a waste.....

I had no idea what happened to me.....
Even today after i took my lunch i really feel wanted to vomit out the meal but i try not to......
Even my dinner i ate abit a scoop of rice......

Its been awhile....

Hey guys......
I had noticed that im not really that good
Might be nothing is perfect in this world

After she left me
Im feel to be glad that she made a correct decision
Cause i felt that im not that good for her
I didnt gave her and surprises or made her touched
I gave her alot of disappointment and hurt or even cry behind me
Things that she wanted and i didnt even make it
When she beside me......i have alot of surprises
To be honest.....you had made a good choice and decide girl

I...
I am a bored bored guy
I am an anti-social guy (60? 70? %)
I am an introvert person
I am a person that like to gamble but i dont owe anyone money
I am a person that does not do any saving for my future
I am a person that did not plan any future for myself
I am a lazy person
I am a guy that always stay at home
I am really a hopeless guy

After the relation break up
I dont really dare to have any girlfriend anymore
Cause i knew that i cant give her happiness only making her suffer
Hurting a person is easy but getting hurt and recover from the hurt is suffering
Im not really a good guy

Who does not want a partner in their life?
Everybody need it
Just felt that im not suit to be in a relationship
Im just a person that making worst and ruining their life
Please get far away from me

"CAUTION"